Lurker
Browse every developer. Judge quietly. Close the tab.
$0forever
- Browse every developer profile
- Three (3) free preview posts per month
- Public commit messages and hot takes
- Read-only access to the group chat
No account. No card. No problem.
PricingFree to lurk.
Free to lurk.
Pay the developer.
There is no OnlyDevs subscription. Each developer sets their own monthly price, usually between $0 and $29. You subscribe to a person, not a platform — and it is still entirely pretend.
Supporter
One developer, their base price. The price is set by them, not us.
$0–$29/ month
- Everything in Lurker
- That developer's subscriber posts
- Live debugging and replay access
- The quiet satisfaction of supporting a human
Base prices range from $0 to $29/month across the directory.
Patron
The top tier. Whatever the developer charges, it is still pretend.
varies/ month
- Everything in Supporter
- Priority DMs and patron-only posts
- Pairing sessions and cursed architecture reviews
- Your name in a commit message
Every developer sets their own tiers. There is no platform subscription.
All prices are fictional and inclusive of a tax that does not exist. Billing is handled by no one, in no currency, on no server.
Compare
A feature matrix nobody asked for.
Enterprise architecture is mostly boxes and arrows. We made a table instead. It has approximately the same amount of decision-making value.
| Feature | Lurker | Supporter | Patron |
|---|---|---|---|
| Browse every developer | |||
| Free preview posts | 3 / month | Unlimited | Unlimited |
| Subscriber posts | |||
| Live debugging + replays | |||
| Priority DMs | |||
| Pairing sessions | |||
| Cancel anytime | |||
| Price | Free | Creator's base price | Creator's patron price |
| Platform subscription | None | None | None |
How pretend billing works
Four things that will never happen to you.
No card, ever
There is no payment form. We do not want your card number. If you send it to us, we will reply with a strongly worded essay about PCI compliance and a link to this page.
No auto-renewal
Nothing renews because nothing begins. The only recurring charge is the time you spend reading about other people's production incidents. That one is non-refundable.
No annual lock-in
Cancel anything at any time by closing the tab. That is the entire cancellation flow. No retention call. No “are you sure?” modal. No sudden urge to write a Medium post.
No platform subscription
You are not buying OnlyDevs Pro. You are subscribing to a developer. There is no middleman, no invoice, and no “talk to sales” button. There is only a person with a price and a very specific set of opinions.
This is a parody.OnlyDevs is a static fiction. No subscriptions are sold, no services are delivered, and no invoices are payable in technical debt. See thetermsfor the full disclaimer.
Billing questions
All questions The only FAQ that has ever mattered.
How much does a subscription cost?
Each developer sets their own monthly price. Base tiers range from $0 to $29/month, and patron tiers scale from there. You subscribe to a developer, not to OnlyDevs. There is no platform subscription.
Can I actually subscribe or pay?
No. Every subscribe button is theatre. No payment details are collected, no money changes hands, and no developer gets paid. The closest thing to a transaction is a localStorage entry in your own browser.
Can I cancel anytime?
Yes. There is nothing to cancel. You were never subscribed. This is either liberating or deeply sad, depending on your relationship with commitment.
Is my data safe?
There is no data. OnlyDevs is a static site with no analytics, no cookies, and no backend. Your pretend subscription lives in localStorage on your own device and never leaves it. The hosting provider keeps standard request logs.
The best price
Start with the free tier. Stay for the legacy code.
No card. No trial countdown. No “your plan will renew in 3 days” email written by someone who has never experienced joy.